That Nice Feeling

Hello, fellow human!

It's pretty difficult to start writing about nothing in particular. This is why I have assigned a nice little topic for this post. How exciting!

But before we dive into a deep ocean abyss of thought... I'd like to point out that this is my blog! MY blog. Therefore, anything written on this blog is... uhm.. anyways. I lost my train of thought. I write the way I talk. Deal with it.

So, if you're human, it means you communicate in some way. I'm guessing that all animals communicate in some way. If you're human, you also have all these other things, but see.. you know people. I'm pretty sure that every person on Earth knows at least one other person besides themselves. It just goes like that. I don't think it's possible for a person to not know any other person in this huge and overly populated planet, other than themselves.

Some people are emotionally close to other people and some people barely know each other. Humans have got all sorts of connections that they have given names to. There are friends, family, partners, acquaintances. In those categories are tons more. Close friends, best friends, just friends, father, mother, cousins, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, dates, co-workers, godfathers, godmothers, grandparents, and the list goes on and on.

Some people matter more than others. Everyone has opinions. I believe that everyone has opinions about others. I also believe that everyone has their own personal opinion about themselves.

With all these opinions, we have emotions. There are so many different feelings we can experience. But this isn't about that. This is about how we see ourselves in society. How we believe that others see us. We have all grown up with different expectations and beliefs. Some of us never learned to distinguish between right and wrong and in-between as a child. Between good and bad and okay.

This is why real life is not so defined. Do you know what I mean? It's all about perception. It's not a math problem, although many of us, including myself, wish that it was. Life is like a highly personalized and specialized operating system. You are the superuser. This system has no boundaries. Everyone runs the same command at birth, and from there, the program starts to specialize itself and starts to form different categories of thought and feeling. I don't know much about programs, by the way! But I'm guessing that since some systems are running different data and files, they might not be compatible. It goes on and on until death. Maybe this is just a tutorial. Maybe this is a test, and death is actually birth. I'm just rambling.

So many feelings surround us.. but this post is about that nice feeling. Do you know of this feeling? It's so nice!

Story time!

About a month ago, I was sitting on the bleachers at the park, looking up at the beautiful night sky. A few of my friends were at the park that day. We were all grouped in one area. I was upset that day. I had been having a lot of arguments with my boyfriend.

I was sitting all the way at the top, in the far corner. The stars looked really pretty. I was staring up, wishing I could be in outer space, when a girl that I knew from high school ( and Facebook ) sat a few feet away from me. She was with her boyfriend. They were chatting, too.

The fact that they were sitting in close proximity made me feel strange. I kept on staring at the little dipper, pretending not to hear their conversation. It was hard not to, though. They weren't that far from me, and the park was mostly quiet.

The boyfriend asked the girl if she knew who I was.

What I heard, I did not expect to hear.

She said that she did know who I was. She said that I was awesome, and that I liked amazing music. She said that I was really intelligent and that I knew how to crochet cool things. She told him that I was a really nice person and that I was studying medicine.

I froze.

'What!?' was my only thought. Then it hit me. Those things she said sounded so genuine. So real. It made me so happy. It gave me that nice feeling.

The thing that shook me the most was the fact that she was telling this to someone else. If she would've told this to me, I wouldn't have believed her. But she told this to her boyfriend. Why would she lie?

We all perceive reality differently. Some of us perceive ourselves very negatively. But hearing something like this, is one of the things about life that makes it worthwhile. All this pressure that some of us put on ourselves, it feels like it never stops. Even though it's so hard to believe, and some of us may not even believe it, it feels so nice when someone talks good about us. No matter how much we deny it, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we are not good enough, it's always nice to hear someone tell us that we are good enough, and that they wish we could see that in ourselves.

That's the nice feeling.